Following a recent diktat issued by the Indian Government, Maggi has been declared banned by more than 10 state governments across India, due to the presence of high levels of MSG and lead in the once-popular instant snack food.
Sure, why not? No really, why not? It’s not any worse than some of the other things the Government has created a controversy over, in the past 6 months alone, no less.
Indeed, it is ironically the most sensible thing that they have banned, especially when you take into consideration some of the other bans that have been introduced for the “welfare of the people”. And who cares if more than 7000 Nestlé workers across India are left unemployed?
Not the hypocrites now setting fire to maggi packets on the street (pollution, anyone?), and certainly not the Government that tries, and continues to try, to look out for the “welfare of the people”.
The worst part of this controversy, is that so many are already on board with the decision. In this (de)pressing situation, I must stress on the fact, that the so-called “high levels of MSG and lead” were never a problem for anyone until the FSSAI said it was.
But I do not want you to misunderstand. I honestly couldn’t care less about Maggi getting banned. What bothers me, is how QUICKLY people changed their tune at approximately the same time that the Pied Piper played his.
For your consideration, here is a list of things that have been banned, or are have at least faced bans, by the Indian Government…so far:
- A whole bunch of movies (not really worth listing)
- Curse words (inlcuding the word “lesbian”)
- Paintings by M.F. Hussain
- Books by a whole bunch of authors (Rushdie, )
- Bikinis (Goa)
- Comedy groups (AIB)
For the love of God, the Film Censor Board of India nearly delayed the release of “Bombay Velvet” because there was a problem with using “Bombay” instead of Mumbai. Our nationalistic, paranoid, self-centered Government, had a problem with the word “Bombay” being used…in a movie that is set in the 1960s. And that’s just a tiny taste of “it”.
How many books and movies has the Indian Government tried (and sometimes succeeded) in banning so far? How many paintings? How many songs? How many bitter, harsh realities of our culture have been “holistically” suppressed?
I want you to really think about it.
Now riddle me this: Why does Honey Singh still have a career?
So I’m going to cut to the chase, if the Indian Government wants to ban anything and everything, at least it should be put to democratic vote. As in, we should get to ban what we want to ban. So here is a list of things that really SHOULD be banned in India:
- Ban Cigarettes (cancer)
- Ban item numbers (bad influence)
- Ban public displays of religious extremism <insert witty swastika joke>
- Ban rape scenes in movies (worse influence)
- Ban littering (SWACHH BHARAT)
- Ban moral policing (worst influence)
- Ban public urination
- Ban ANY Government official [elected or non-elected] who has a criminal record
- Ban dowry
- Ban hate speeches by people in power (the only ones who don’t deserve an opinion)
- Ban honour killings
- Ban child labour
- Ban child marriage
- And ban vehicles that don’t pass emission testing (Because, again, SWACHH BHARAT)
But really, who cares? Do you?
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